Why I Chose Birth Work?

In fifth grade on career day an OBGYN brought in a placenta and I was hooked. That is the short answer.  The long answer is a twisted road of wonder, amazement and pure admiration of life and the birth process. 

I am the second oldest of 4 children and my sisters are 7 and 9 years younger than me. When my mother was pregnant with them I asked more questions than she did. How did all this work, babies, and breastfeeding, infant care. I changed diapers and fed babies.

 I have always been my friends and colleagues “mother hen”. As if for some reason I had this knowledge of all things life related.  I have worked in the business world for most of my life.  Most people know me as the “dragon lady” or doer. If something needed to get done I made it happen.  So when I became pregnant with my first child, you would think I had it all together. But I didn’t. I went with a few recommendations and picked an OBGYN.  Then at my baby shower I received a book called “with Child” and it looked at the ideas of conception, labor, birth and parenting around the world.  It seemed so comforting to me. Normal.  I learned what a midwife and doula was and quickly set out to find a doula. 

I had my parent over and this poor doula sat at my table and chatted with us and I hired her.  A few weeks later I was in labor with my son.  The doctor and I had very different opinions on how this whole thing should go so with the support of my husband and doula, rocking away in a shower with intermittent Doppler monitoring from a very patient nurse I fired my doctor and took the on call mid wife. Mid Birth.

 I had an amazing birth experience and just 9 short hours after my water broke and labor started I was holding my son.  My nuchal cord, compound presenting posterior son.  I had no idea of how awesome this feet was until my next pregnancy.  And loss and the next pregnancy and loss. It was the midwife who quickly got me into a specialist upon my 4th pregnancy to help me make this one stick.  I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder and put on blood thinners and had lots of appointments. It was over whelming and scary.

 So I hired the same doula for the birth and decided to not get upset or concerned as the doctors would want me too. The maternal fetal specialist was great and assured me he would be back from his vacation before I gave birth (I never go to term go figure) So there I was 8 days early and my water broke again and labor started.  After the nurse shut my husband out of triage and questioned me on how I knew my water broke the surges slowed.  Once I was reunited with my husband, I asked to get up and walk to my labor room. Text book data was quoted about movement not proving to start labor and after getting up and walking out of the room and refusing Pitocin my labor started. The kind on call doctor assured me I would want the Pitocin by 6 am (it was 12am) and that he would be back then.  I thanked him and told him my baby would be here before that.  At 5:32 am my baby flew out and the scared resident caught her first baby of a mom birthing on her side.  My doula re assured her that is was fine and that she would be ok. I chuckled.

I kept my business career all the while supporting friends and family through births, learning more about child birth and breastfeeding. Then I was blessed to be pregnant again and decided that since I was at a hospital with Midwives I didn’t need a doula. I was going to have a water birth and it was going to be great. 

Well things were different. My water did not break like the first two, The few days of prodromal labor were exhausting, frustrating and worrisome.  I was so lonely. When labor finally did start I didn’t even recognize it because I was expecting it to stop. At the hospital my husband was great but not as available. He had to work with the nurses, fetch things for me and fix the shower that was dripping on my face as I lay in the tub.  Then when I wanted to push (in the bed on my side-the tub was weird shaped and not working for me) He had to argue with the staff that I preferred to birth on my side. It was not a bad experience but not great. It was not what I thought it would be.

I reflected a lot about that birth. How much like an OB birth it was.  I had decided that one day I would become a doula or child birth educator or maybe even Midwife. (I had been scared away from obstetrics in high school because of malpractice and it still scared me)

 Fast forward another child in a new state with a new and not great provider and here I was. My personal life had changed. I was home with my own 4 children and 3 foster children. My brothers’ children. I was working at a job I did not feel fulfilled in. A few months later my brother passed away.  I did not know what to make of it all. What was I doing, what great mark would I leave on this world. Was I good at what I did and did I like it. Did it fill my bucket or just provide a not so great pay check.  There had to be more.  At my brothers funeral one resounding message came through.  He was happy with his career, with his children. His life was cut short but he lived a full life.  Was I doing that? Did my children or husband like me when I came home from work? No the answer was NO.

The week after my brothers’ funeral I looked up doula training and there was a class in the town close by. I found the money and a good baby sitter and attended the class.  I felt way over my head and completely comfortable all at the same time.  I was then introduced to a wonderful midwifery group who needed doulas to support their families and within a few short months I had attended many births. I had so much to learn but felt so comfortable in the role. I wanted to make sure that at each birth I was completely present to my moms and their families.  I was then invited by my dear high school friend to support her vaginal birth after cesarean in another state.  Long story short not only did it work out great but I found out that I had a knack for this birth stuff. My husband said that “birth looked good on me”.  Even on tough and not so great days I was happy.

Birth work is a continual journey.  Every birth is like the first one. In my heart I am sure to keep the family first and foremost. On the days that I am tired, not interested in crawling out of bed at 2 am in the snow or rain I keep my brother in mind. Honor his life by supporting others as they bring life to this world.  I am told by many of my families that I have been a great help to them. My colleagues tell me I am an example to them or their hero. Truth be told, my fellow birth workers are my motivation to keep going.

The families are grateful for the hours of massaging and squeezing hips, pressing on points and breathing right along with these powerful women; however I am the one honored for the opportunity. I am the one gaining new life, purpose and drive to continue on this path.  It is the families I support and the honor in the lives lost that I decided to become a doula. It is because of them that I will continue to support women and the birth process until my last breath.  

Dr. Jack Ayoub of Virginia Obstetrics and Gynecology

Our provider spotlight features Dr. Jack Ayoub, of Virginia Obstetrics and Gynecology. Dr. Jack Ayoub is the 130th President of the Medical Society of Northern Virginia and the Chairman and Medical Director of the New Stone Springs Hospital in Aldie, Virginia. 

What called you to be a Doctor of Obstetrics and Gynecology?

After seeing my first birth in Omaha in medical school I was in complete amazement and shock, and I was never the same in terms of I knew right then that was what I would like to do the rest of my life.

How long have you been serving women and families in Northern Virginia?

11 years total including residency

What makes Virginia Obstetrics and Gynecology unique from other practices in Northern Virginia?

We are a boutique OBGYN office that strives to be the top notch in customer service and for the needs of our patients.  We have one of the nicest and cleanest and newest offices in Northern VA.  Also I have the ability to customize the experience to each individual patient, whether it is an unmedicated, medicated or cesarean which is needed.   Even though I have medical training as an obstetrician I deliver as would a home birth midwife…without breaking down the bed and at the patients side, using perineal massage to help prevent tears, put baby straight to mom’s chest, allowing cord blood to stop pulsating and really all the expectations at home with the safety of a hospital in the event of an emergency.

What do you enjoy most about supporting women?

Everything!  I love delivering babies, seeing patients year after year, doing surgery and office procedures.

What is your favorite part of witnessing birth?

 I have delivered over 4000 wonderful babies and each time I do another delivery it always makes me smile. After I always feel as if it were the first!

What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?

My wife and kids are what I am most proud of! Other than that, becoming the 130th President of the Medical Society of Northern Virginia and becoming the first Chairman and Medical Director of StoneSprings Hospital are close to the top.  Also my passion for Woman’s Healthcare is evident in my life. 

What’s the single most important reason for your success?

The hunger to learn more and serve people.  I never stop learning and I am driven to be the best out there!

Stone Springs Hospital - Aldie, Virginia

Introducing Mary Rose Burke- Birth Doula

We are thrilled to have Mary Rose Burke as a birth doula here at Northern Virginia Birth Services. Please join us in welcoming her to our team!

What brought you to your profession as a doula (labor and/or postpartum)?

I first thought about becoming a birth doula when my oldest child was a baby, after the trans-formative experience of giving birth and becoming a mother myself. I read so much about pregnancy and birth during my first pregnancy, and I became fascinated with all of it. Over the last 11+ years, I've had 3 more babies, and now that they're all getting a little older and more independent, I'm so excited to bring this dream to fruition. I completed birth doula trainings with DONA in 2013 and with ProDoula in 2016. I am pursuing certification as a birth doula with ProDoula.

What is your favorite part of supporting families?

In this day and age, and especially in the DC metro area, the pace of life is so fast, and we are all so busy. I want to provide my clients with a safe space where they can feel unhurried, comfortable, and most of all, heard and understood. I want the families I work with to know that I am there for them, with unwavering support and nurturing care, as they prepare for and transition to life with their new baby.

When did you become a mother?

In September of 2004, at the age of 29.

Where are you from or where were you born?

I'm a Northern Virginia native - born and raised!

What are some of your dreams and visions for your profession?

I am thrilled to be pursuing certification as a birth doula. In the near future I plan to also certify as a childbirth educator, lactation counselor, and placenta specialist.

Do you volunteer anywhere and what do you do?

I do a lot of volunteering at my church - with the children's and women's ministries, and other general church programs. I also volunteer at my kids' school - in the classroom and at PTA events.

What is your greatest joy in mothering?

As a Mom, I love those moments of one-on-one connection with each of my children, when time seems to stand still, and we just enjoy each other's presence. I also love seeing the unique personalities of each of my kids develop and grow over time - they are each so different, and I'm so thankful I get to be their Mom!

What is the hardest thing about motherhood for you now?

Things can get a little (okay, a lot!) wild and crazy in our house, with four active kids, and a frisky Beagle thrown into the mix as well. My kids generally get along, and I know they love each other immensely, but when there are sibling squabbles, I have a hard time not feeling overwhelmed and stressed out - I don't enjoy conflict! But I'm working on staying calm in those heated moments.

What would be your best advice for a new mom?

It's okay not to have all the answers. None of us have all the answers. Just know in your heart that you were specifically chosen to be this baby's Mom. Your baby doesn't need you to be perfect; we all make mistakes. As long as you are always learning and growing, that's what matters. Trust your instincts, never be ashamed to ask for help, and give yourself a lot of grace - every day is a new day and a fresh start. I think these are good reminders for all Moms - I still have to remind myself of them pretty often!

What is something you always stand by? ( a verse, statement, slogan, etc)

"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." --Fred Rogers

The Healing of Bone Broth

Paleo and Prehistoric Bone Broth

A few days after I delivered my firstborn, my mother in law kindly prodded me as to when she could prepare some chicken soup for me. In my husband’s culture “Sopa de Gaunita” or hen soup as it is translated is given to honor and nourish a new mother after her delivery. I told my mother in law I would be happy to have the soup whenever she had the time to prepare it. I will never ever forger her response. “Okay good! Just give me some time because I have to catch the hen.” Suddenly my feeling of being a “culturally knowable” woman fell away. HA! In my Anglo Saxon upbringing I had never heard of such a thing. Growing up, chicken soup came from a can or was made with premade stock, so talk about a little culture shock.

I felt guilty that this poor hen would get butchered for my sole benefit. So after weighing my conscious I asked my dear husband to kindly thank his mother but refuse the soup. Bad move. Not only was I unable to reap the benefits of this amazing form of nourishment but I also had unintentionally disrespected my mother in law by refusing something that is a very special form of showing respect and honor to a new mother. Very often in my husband’s culture it is the new mom’s mother who makes this soup for her. So this was indeed an act of many symbolic meanings.       

This experience was a huge lesson for me. We can dig in our heels and deny it till the sun goes down but no matter how easy or difficult it is to admit, there’s a wealth of wisdom that our mothers have passed down to us. When she told us that chicken soup was the best medicine for most of our ailments you better believe that she was not far off. On a side note upon the arrival of my second born I did receive a most delicious and unctuous bowl of “Sopa de gaunita” and I have no regrets whatsoever!  

History of Bone Broth

Bone broth has been named a “prehistori paleo drink” by many, and its increasing reputation and popularity has filtered into the social consciousness of the birth world of late. In almost every culture some form of bone broth has been traditionally used to nourish our postpartum mothers. If you look, evolutionary, the chicken soup that was indoctrinated into our American culture has roots that date back to our own hereditary lineages. The sad fact is that the evolution of bone broth has been diminished to what we pour out of a can of Campbell’s.

So what is bone broth? And why is it significantly beneficial more than soups, stocks, or simple broths? The differences between these three are very small, minuscule even to some, but very important when it comes to understanding and reaping the benefits for your postpartum body.

·         Broth is typically made with meat and a small amount of bone. The ratio of meat to bone is much higher. The cooking process for broth is around 45 minutes to 2 hours, the consistency of the broth in thin and watery and the flavor is very light. This broth has a good source of protein.

·         Stock is made with the ratios of broth only reversed. This means that there is more bone and very little meat. Think of the sinews or muscular tissue that clings to the bones. Usually the bones are roasted before they cook in the stock for 3-4 hours. This broth has a good source of gelatin.

·         Bone broth like stock, bone broth contains more bone than meat. Vinegar is often used before cooking to draw out the minerals and infused them into the broth. Bone broth is cooked the longest with a minimum of 24 hours. This broth is rich in gelatin, protein, and minerals which is what makes it the trifecta of both stock and broth.  

Bone Broth Benefits

After labor your body is at its most vulnerable. It needs the time and resources to properly heal and recover from the incredible journey of pregnancy and birth.

·         Cartilage –strengthens the structure of your bones and supports joints and tendons

·          Bone Marrow – the myeloid and lymphoid stem cells found in the bone marrow help the formation and function of white and red blood cells

·         Glycine & Proline - Are amino acids that play a crucial role in: healing wounds and soft tissue, having healthy connective tissue, effective detoxification by the liver, and the production of plasma

·         Minerials  

o   Calcium & Magnesium: allow muscle contraction and relaxation (which is needed for your organs to return to their original size and position) assists in clotting and tissue repair, and supports normal nerve functioning and endocrine balance.

o   Phosphorus: generates energy and regulates intercellular pressure which prevents weakness and fatigue.

o    Potassium: supports electrolyte functioning and assists with muscle contraction and relaxation.

Enjoy this recipe of bone broth and to download and print for your recipe box, click the button below! Enjoy!

Bone Broth Recipe

Ingredients:

1 package of ox tails (2-5 lbs.)

 1 tablespoon of vinegar

Chopped vegetables (carrots, onion, garlic, etc.)  (of your choice)

Salt

Directions: Place your ox tails in a slow cooker and cover them with enough water to cover the bones. Only let the water come 1 inch above the bones so the broth with be concentrated. Add your vinegar to the slow cooker and let it sit for 1 hour. After one hour turn your slow cooker on low and add the vegetables. Cook for 24 hours and then strain the contents of the broth and season with salt. Store in refrigerator or freezer and enjoy!